I Passed....but The Bar Exam is Still a Bitch: For Anyone Else Who Still Hasn't Passed the Bar....

I Passed....but The Bar Exam is Still a Bitch

I took the Bar Exam more than once, several times actually, and lived to tell the tale....retakers take heart...the bar is a bitch...but not impossible...

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

For Anyone Else Who Still Hasn't Passed the Bar....

I want to say a little something for anyone else who has failed the bar exam.....mainly because I've failed it myself.....(many times, but please don't let that freak you out--please read the blog, it is highly unlikely you have circumstances as unusual as mine).

....and no.....I haven't passed it yet.....but I know I will....because I know I won't quit trying.

I'm sorry you've failed.....I understand how you feel....I understand that you can't sleep at night....I understand that you feel ok until you wake up and remember again that you've failed and you feel sick all over again......that you probably can't eat....that you can't face the people that you love...that you really can't face people you fucking hate....and that you feel like you want to hide from the world.....I know how hopeless you feel....I know how crushed you feel.....

I promise that eventually the feelings fade....I've pushed through them myself and actually smile these days... but I've been dealing with all this for quite a while obviously....and I don't wish that for any of you...but I want you to at least know you aren't alone with these kinds of feelings.... (of course maybe I was alone in feeling this way---in which case, chalk me up to being a basket case and caveat emptor in blog reading, such and so forth)

We who are groomed to be the absolute best are not much accustomed to failure....and it is brutal when we fail.....oh god....it is so very brutal.....

But.....having been where you've been.....and having failed more than once (and survived)....I've realized that self worth really has nothing to do with this test....I've found that I'm ok with the failure and I don't fear it so much any more.....

Being fearless is a good thing....I promise....sometimes we have to use the things we are given....

posted by Bar Bitch @ 9:41 AM

6 Comments:

At 3:30 PM, September 24, 2006, Anonymous said…

I'm so sorry to hear your news, I was really looking forward to a different result. I did pass but my close friend and study partner did not so it was bittersweet. But I admire your determination and hope that I can convince him to keep going as well. I'll be waiting to say congrats to both of you in Feb!
At 3:59 PM, September 24, 2006, Anonymous said…

Do you plan on studying differently this time around?????
At 4:19 PM, September 25, 2006, Bar Bitch said…

To Failed too...

Only thing I'm going to do any differently is a whole boat load more of MBE's....

I probably did about 200 per subject which gave me a fairly substantial return for my investment....I have had one higher MBE score in the past however...and it was due to a sick number of MBE practice questions....that is the way my brain works sadly....

As far as the essays go...it would seem that I just can't break the ceiling...I score consistently...mainly 5's / 6's but always one low score that does me in I guess...I'm just not sure that I can prepare any more thoroughly or much differently...it seems to be a question of luck whether they ask the "right" questions for me...

I'd rather place my bets on the MBE because I'm so close to being in the money...
At 4:21 PM, September 25, 2006, Bar Bitch said…

To Kathy....

You get a whole page on the blog...
At 4:44 PM, November 03, 2006, Anonymous said…

I failed for the second time. I did not feel bad until I looked at the pass rate in MA and saw that it was 88%. I felt better when I saw that it was only 35% for second time takers.
Anyway, I will do a lot more studying this time around and actual practice questions for the essays.
I am so glad that I found your blog.
At 12:15 PM, November 05, 2006, Bar Bitch said…

Anon...

Hey, I'm glad you feel better...you keep on trying, people don't do well on the bar for lots of reason's, the trick is to figure out why you didn't...and don't get down about those pass stats, all that matter is your number baby!