| Sunday, May 06, 2007 |
| Let it Be.....for Beatles and Bar-takers..... |
Nope, I haven't dropped off the face of the earth....I've bought an adorable little dollhouse of a condo in Virginia.....I'm still living between houses that are about 2 hours and 2 states apart until the closing mid May.....I'm loving my new job and the security that flows with having a little bit of money again....
I'm trying to cope with the knowledge that a man I am absolutely mad about is leaving for the west coast and then the "war" that supposedly isn't for a whopping 16 months....I might also mention that he isn't "madly in love with me" and I do quote......and my mother is ill....so much so that she might not make it through this time....
I know that so many of the people who visit my site are here looking for consolation....something to hold onto.....just so you know, I sometimes come here for the same reason.....
While I was studying / flunking the bar exam perpetually the thing I struggled with most was learning how to just be.....and I do mean that in the most Buddhist-zen sense......it is really something to try and understand how to be in only the moment you're facing....not the moments behind you regret and not the ones ahead you fear.....
I am looking at a lot of be-ing right now.....those of you gearing up for summer, like me, have to try and focus on only the day at hand.....I want to remind every one of you that you are stronger than you think..... |
posted by Bar Bitch @ 9:17 AM   |
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| 3 Comments: |
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Do you ever scroll back through your blog and see how different your life is right now (your focus, how you spend your time, thought processes, etc) from a year or two ago? I just clicked on your May 2006 link . . . then briefly on February 2007. Now that you are where you are, so much has changed.
I have been thinking about the passage of time lately - graduating and moving and getting ready to get ready for the bar : )
Three years sounded 'long, but manageable' pre-law school; lasted forever during law school (quote: 'I see no future - none at all'); and now . . . it's almost as though it didn't happen. Was it real? Was it really three years?
Before that, a long-term job; years before that a single parent working 2-3 jobs at a time. Interesting how life has you at such different places, with different people at various periods of time. Maybe when you lay all those 'snapshots' of life out like one big deck of cards, you see some of that Zen or being. My life was X . . . now it is Y. Was there, now here.
Makes me think that it's not only your bar exam experiences that are/will someday be related to just a past 'something you went through' but ALL of the difficult times and changes will eventually become a mere part of who you become year after year.
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Although you are still studying for the other bar, it must make you feel good that you have finally passed NC. Now you know for a fact that you can do it!
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Hey, I just stumbled across your blog for the first time today. I'm waiting for CA results from my second try today.
I know you passed a long time ago, but congrats anyway. I'm too jittery to read all of your recent postings right now, but I hope things work out for you. You seem like a really nice person.
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Do you ever scroll back through your blog and see how different your life is right now (your focus, how you spend your time, thought processes, etc) from a year or two ago? I just clicked on your May 2006 link . . . then briefly on February 2007. Now that you are where you are, so much has changed.
I have been thinking about the passage of time lately - graduating and moving and getting ready to get ready for the bar : )
Three years sounded 'long, but manageable' pre-law school; lasted forever during law school (quote: 'I see no future - none at all'); and now . . . it's almost as though it didn't happen. Was it real? Was it really three years?
Before that, a long-term job; years before that a single parent working 2-3 jobs at a time. Interesting how life has you at such different places, with different people at various periods of time. Maybe when you lay all those 'snapshots' of life out like one big deck of cards, you see some of that Zen or being. My life was X . . . now it is Y. Was there, now here.
Makes me think that it's not only your bar exam experiences that are/will someday be related to just a past 'something you went through' but ALL of the difficult times and changes will eventually become a mere part of who you become year after year.