| Monday, October 30, 2006 |
| Grey's Anatomy Anyone? |
It's a first!!!!!, not only has a story like mine reached Grey's Anatomy, (well, sort of, I'm not holding my hand over any stoves, but it goes to show that some truth is stranger than fiction huh?)....I have officially received my first-ever "you're a whiny bitch" comment....I admit, I was shocked, stunned, taken aback, a bit hurt and frankly, a little puzzled....I have to say that when I first started here it was with some trepidation....I figured I'd get all kinds of "you suck" comments since I was sharing something so personal and in doing so, making myself kind of an easy target....
....no one was more surprised than me by all the positive feedback I got instead....since I've been at this for quite a while now without incident, I guess I just figured that the people who wanted to throw stones weren't going to do it here (I guess they all stayed over on The Uncivil Litigator?).... I admit, I decided to mark this milestone for a few of my own selfish reasons, but it occurs to me that if you've failed the bar exam, chances are you too will deal with people who judge you, assume the worst about your intelligence and attack your attempts to pick yourself up and keep on going....
The blog is therapy for me...really and truly....when I first went to see a therapist after failing, one of his suggestions was that I learn how to stop being so ashamed....dealing with failure is something that none of us want any experience in....when I started to figure out that sharing this bar experience with anyone who asked about the bar...."Um nope, I didn't pass, but mainly it's my pride that hurts." and smiling, instead of acting like I had an STD or something, my life started to get better....so I'm not making excuses about why I'm here....
I espouse anything that makes you feel better right now....as long it doesn't hurt anybody else, it's not self-destructive and it's legal....this is what I do---I write....
I was kind of surprised that anyone would take the time to write and tell me that I should just "get over it" (the bar I guess)....and here was the killer, that I should just "suck it up"....probably that one little statement is what set me off....I lived for almost 6 years with a sadist prick of husband who loved nothing better than to make me cry, and scream at me to "suck it up" when I finally did....
The beauty of my life now is that I don't have to anymore.... I don't have to "suck anything up", but I do place a very high value on standing up for myself these days, probably because I was so bad at it for so long....I have learned that people like my ex abuse and demean people mainly because they have so very little self-worth of their own.... the only way they feel superior is by making others inferior, abusive people have to get their power from somewhere....
Try and remember that when people have snotty comments about your not passing or look down on you because you took it more than once...ask yourself what kind of a person kicks someone else when they're down? What is wrong with this person that they feel good you failed? Are they really just scared shitless that it could happen to them too? You be the graceful one love and if none of that helps, realize that they are probably lousy in the sack, mean people usually are.... |
posted by Bar Bitch @ 9:54 AM   |
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| Tuesday, October 24, 2006 |
| Does the Dalai Lama know about Failing the Bar Exam? |
The Dalai Lama has this to say for 2006, some of it very relevant for a perpetual bar exam taker I think:
- Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risks.
- When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
- Three R's: Respect for self, Respect for others and Responsibility for all of your actions.
- Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
- Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
- Don't let a little dispute ruin a great relationship.
- When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
- Spend some time alone every day.
- Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.
- Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
- Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.
- A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
- In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.
- Share your knowledge. It is a way to achieve immortality.
- Be gentle with the earth.
- Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.
- Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for one another exceeds your need for each other.
- Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
- Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.
I take wisdom wherever I find it, (for me that is pretty much daily)...I thought some of this especially relevant, because I've forgotten some of this during this process and because I get so many comments that relate..... My favorite is the line about not losing the lesson....what have you learned since you failed the test? Are you stronger or still wallowing? (not that you shouldn't spend some time feeling bad....I know it sucks) Some of my personal heroes teach that you have to make every situation in life serve you....if you haven't figured out a way to make this time do that, think about it....I'm not saying something cheesy about "making lemonade", I am saying don't you dare let this experience beat you down, because we are all greater than that.... |
| posted by Bar Bitch @ 10:32 AM |
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| Monday, October 23, 2006 |
| The Dreams that you Dream will come True.... |
Nope....I haven't dropped off the face of the earth....nor have a I hanged myself out of bar grief or drunk myself into oblivion over my latest set of scores (well actually I did do that, but not within the past two weeks).....took off for sunny FL for a couple of weeks and forgot to post beforehand to say I'd be MIA.....
The Magic Kingdom was so the ticket!!!! To everyone who is getting ready to knuckle down (again) I highly suggest a week with The Mouse before jumping back in....it will do wonders for your morale....besides, I haven't even thought the Bar for almost two solid weeks.....isn't that a beautiful thing? Like all the cheesy commercials.....priceless.......
But now I'm back and ready to do battle.....that's right campers it's time to start kicking more bar exam ass.....is it too soon to study for February? My thought is absolutely not......
Myself, I am still unsure how I managed to not make this last cut....The Study Group tells me that I "passed" the essay portion of the test.....so I don't need to retake with them (which is pretty decent when you think about it, they said don't spend more money) ....to focus more on the MBE....I had already been thinking that, but honestly...how high an MBE do you need here in NC? But you see the problem with this line of thinking is....it is a waste of time.....it really doesn't matter....it is an emotional drain to spend so much time on the "why me's?" and the "bar is so unfair" or even "life is so unfair"....even when it's true, it doesn't get you anywhere but down......
Bottom line is....they can't screw with the MBE score....or "scale" it (at least not like they scale the essays, I don't think they take points from you on the MBE, but maybe they do?) ......which is why it is not too early to start.....25 MBE's a day, with quality reflection on the right / wrong answers seems a good place to start.....get the percentages up in the 80's....why not? We've got nothing but time...... |
| posted by Bar Bitch @ 10:43 AM |
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