| Thursday, July 27, 2006 |
| Who's Your Bitch Now? |
The big days have come and gone.....I hope every one feels huge relief that its over!!!!! Especially the retakers, much love you guys!!!!! If you were in NC and in the laptop room you saw no doubt that things went exactly as expected....complete and utter chaos!!!! I hope that did not slow your roll!!!!
If any of you noticed the one applicant at the entire NC bar exam without a laminated bar ID card hanging around her neck....that was your friendly neighborhood bar bitch!!!!!.....that's right....the bar fucked it up (surprise, surprise) could not find my admit ticket upon check-in ( they found it forty five minutes later) and finally determined that by inadvertance they had no pre-prepared ID for me....of course you know that applicants are not allowed in and out of the testing facility without any bar ID....I had to have special escort in and out of the test and every time we came back from lunch etc, etc I was pretty much put up against the wall for a frisk b/c of lack of bar id....it was too funny.....and utterly hilarious that the proctors all knew me personally....how is that for a bar exam huh?
Oh...and the "after the test" didn't go half bad either.....let's say it was a well deserved reward for this girl.....the accountant was indeed extremely hot and extremely lovely....
We all made it!!!! I can't wait to see everybody's good news!!!!! |
posted by Bar Bitch @ 8:24 PM   |
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| Sunday, July 23, 2006 |
| Ready for a Bitch Slap? |
This is it.....almost the end for us all.....I took off Friday, so I'm still doing a little bit of studying today, but nothing nail biting or stressful....
I hope everybody is feeling solid...that's my wish for everyone....to walk into that test feeling that you have done as much as you could possibly do....and be proud of that....I know for me at least that regardless of the result, it means a hell of a lot that you can be proud of the amount of work you've put in just to get where you are right now....the fact that you are sitting for a professional licensing exam is something extraordinary.....(the fact I'm sitting a fourth time says I'm exceptionally extraordinary right????)
Your mental game is everything loves....a few more pieces of advice if I may? If you've heard all this before....well just humor me....
- If you haven't been there on Tuesday...lemme tell you...it resembles a cattle herd.... and everybody looks like they're about to be slaughtered...for the love of god, if you get there early.....don't go stand in the herd....is there anything that will make you feel worse? Stay in your car and listen to something that pumps your ass up....I listen to Rocky....
- Don't keep going over your outlines on Tuesday morning....if you don't know it then....ummm yeah you are screwed (no one on this blog!!!!)....unless you have a photo-memory.....
- Don't talk to people about how collectively nervous / screwed / worried / and basically certain you are that you will all fail ..... come on!!!!..... if I can still go to this test with a good attitude so can you......
- Try not to listen to the people who will be talking that way....and be certain that they will...this will just freak you the hell out......now if you doubt me at all (three time flunkee that I am) ...try to remember that I was once a SAT and LSAT instructor and I have been around the blocks a few times when it comes to test-taking psychology....don't buy into group phobia madness....
- Just smile when the scizzzo behind you wants to talk about "what you argued" for number 3....., it is too damn late now brother......why get either of you upset? and don't check your notes at lunch either, unless its to bone up on the six subjects you will have after lunch....for the same reason....hell, I highly suggest not checking your notes till after day 2...no need to get worried till after the MBE.....why hamper your performance?
- Be nice to whoever is sitting at your table.....it might be me!!!!!
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| posted by Bar Bitch @ 1:48 PM |
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| Thursday, July 20, 2006 |
| If you're scared.....say you're scared..... |
Since we're getting close....but still not so close that you can't do something about it....I'm thinking today is a good day to talk about being afraid....since I started this quest for the all holy grail and found out today there is a record number of us this summer here in NC (over 1100!!!) I have had much time to reflect on all the time I've wasted being afraid.....
mostly in the beginning I was afraid of failing.....afraid of having to tell my family....my boss, who believe or not I love like a father....and the people who asked every freakin day....that was mostly ego....I am a star....I was a top performer in my small town, people here know me by name and they are not used to me not being the best of the best, even all these years later.....so yes I was fearful.....
Mostly, I was afraid of what I would tell myself if this test told me that I was not good enough.....and then as you know....it happened.....and I'm not writing this because I want all of you to start asking yourself gut-wrenching questions at this juncture.....
I'm writing because I don't want it to happen to anyone else....You remember that this test has absolutely no bearing on your worth as a person or your intelligence....that was one of hugest stumbling blocks for me along the way......try not be fearful and don't make it bigger than it is....
And if at all possible....ask yourself what are you still feeling afraid of? Monsters with a face stop being scary..... if there are any topics that you are thinking....if they ask something on that, I'm screwed ......why don't you at least write it down...and try to spend some time figuring it out when you can? You'll feel better...we all tend to ignore the things we don't understand and that in turn tends to make us feel more anxious.....if you make that list, it will probably be short and your "scary things" will at least have a face.... the point is to reduce as much anxiety as possible before the test.... |
| posted by Bar Bitch @ 12:35 PM |
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| Monday, July 17, 2006 |
| Some like it hot...... |
Anybody wanna share some of their weird pre-bar rituals? I know you have them....I think we are alot like pro-athletes in this regard....cause really, its what we are....pro-mental athletes...or really....dorks......right?
Like for me....my super obsessive rituals lead me to the need to do the same things every day while I study....and I do mean the exact same.....same exercise rountine.....same Mt. Dew and bag of chips (yes I do see the irony there) ...don't get me started on how crushing it is that they seem to discontinued the Lay's Dill Chips I nosh on every morning at 8:05 am.....I actually have the lady at the Red Apple checking into it for me....(see I'm just so cute and pert like that... people just want to help me in my bizarre quests....that and I think she thinks I'm preggars....who the hells else would eat soda and chips for breakfast every morning for six weeks straight?)
And then there is my sunny porch....I picked a new study area for exam four....I figured since I failed the other tests, a change of scenery would do me good.....I've got water on three sides....lacy curtains....the great outdoors.....windchimes.....and it is so beautiful in the morning I think that there is no way I won't pass this test, such serenity.....but before you start to puke.....by the time 2:30 rolls around, I tell you if I had nuts, I'd have sweated them off by now..... even so, I somehow I cannot move myself from this place.....it's my study place....it's hallowed ground....and the truth is I am somehow afraid to change it up now....I see the lunacy even while I type the words people...but I'm taking the bar exam.....and yes I'm a little nuts..... |
| posted by Bar Bitch @ 5:33 PM |
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| Sunday, July 16, 2006 |
| Little things mean a lot..... |
The memory work is going fairly well on my end.....I'm into my second round of memorizing my little florescent yellow flashcards....so pretty much I sit at a table from 8:30 in the morning till 5:30 at night and write and rewrite these rules....in the hopes that I will be able to summon them during crunch time.....I take off an hour for dinner and then hop back to it till 10:30....this is really the only week I've done things so extreme.....but no pain....no gain, baby cakes.....
I do feel guilty about all the time I spend on this bar crap if you can believe it, probably not if you don't have kids....but my own little munchkin is now four and believes my "job" is taking the "barbazaam"......she is slightly bewildered about the little yellow cards....but really likes the smiley faces I can draw on the dry erase board when she comes for intermittent visits to the porch where I study all day.... ummm yes.....I do have a sitter before you call DSS for TPR ok?
In spite of all the memorization, and lovely little yellow cards....I am resigned to the fact that some of it will still fly right of my head....oh the pressure of it all.....I will fight the urge to write really ridiculous commentary on my essay instead.....last test I think I wrote that when the atty is unsure....it is always best to check the statute for clarification.....my own way of quietly lashing out at a bar that actually thinks it ok to expect that we have all the rules of civil procedure in our heads by number.....in my world.....as long as you know how to find it....you're golden.....
Even so.....no matter what one or two minor things we manage to forget come essay day.....that is what this final week of prep time is all about....it is super short term memory week baby....the best time to be filling your sponge-like brain full of things that you will have absolutely no recollection of in two weeks time.....this is prime time to be going over the things that you miss on MBE's, looking over outlines in each subject, and of course memorizing your black letter along with whatever approaches you might use for essays....you will amaze yourself with how much you retain this week....I know this for certain....I've done it a few times..... :)
what I didn't know for certain....is when my baby girl took two handfuls of my sports bra tonight and said....mommy.....am I going to have these things too?.....was what exactly was the appropriate response? yes.....little things mean a lot....comic relief during bar prep....priceless..... |
| posted by Bar Bitch @ 5:10 PM |
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| Saturday, July 15, 2006 |
| Still no ticket...... |
Hopefully.....in another few days....this will be worthless and idle concern....but as of today....my ticket is still not here.....and yes.....even I am starting to worry.....why the hell isn't it here? And why the hell does the state bar not have their little duckies in a row enough that they get those damn things out sooner than one week before the gdmf'n test? Sorry....even I get a little bit of drama queeny at times....this is just ticking me off.....hard core.....supposing there is a little bit of touble with a certain applicant's application....they couldn't possibly have waited this long to let me know that? I have been thinking all this time that since I'd heard nothing....that that was most likely good news.....but since every day this week has rolled by with a gaping empty mail box.....I'm starting to not feel quite so positive.....I can handle most everything about this test.....except for not being allowed to take it.....
I'm afraid to ask.....but my NC peeps.....if any of you are lurking about.....who's got a ticket? When did you get it? I saw on the website they would be mailed "no earlier than the week of the 10th"....if anyone can shed some light on that.....I'd just love to know about it......who writes for these idiots anyway? Is it too much to ask they just post the date they mail the damn things....oh well.....back to the books.....no good to worry about this now.....really can't do anything but plan my speech for first thing Monday morning.....
Umm yes......I realize you are a complete incompetant and total jackass......but you have my entire future in my hands......so I will pretend to be nice to you.....at least till we find out why there is no admission ticket in my hot little hands.....now did you forget to mail it or what? (kind of like last time when you made me pay for double copies of my Fl driving record, costing me 50 bucks....when it turned out you had the damn thing the whole time and just didn't "see it"?)
Ummm nope....that won't work......
How 'bout....hey stupid.....where's my f'n ticket?!!!!!!! Stop giving me extra shit to worry about right now!!!!!!
yeah......that just about covers it.......
Really, I'm not this much of an ass....just feeling a little bit anxious at the moment..... |
| posted by Bar Bitch @ 10:00 PM |
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| Thursday, July 13, 2006 |
| Semper Fi Bitch!!!!!!! |
I'm still waiting for my admission ticket to the big dance.....they are notoriously slow here in NC....and it is quite possible that instead of getting my ticket what they will send instead in something along the lines of a letter that says....no dice....you cannot sit for the test blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah....I've gotten two of those letters so far.....and they usually send them at the lost possible minute....because I've noticed that just like practicing law "in the real world"....the bar "in the real world" does not work like you'd expect either.....
The actual bar exam doesn't really go that smoothly either.....it runs late and everybody seems confused mostly....and I'm not talking about the test takers either.....during my second bar exam they ran out of scrap paper....they distributed it to half the room and then said.....oh sorry.....you'll just have to do without have they heard of equal protection I'm screaming?.....now granted....I was in the half that had paper....but I felt incredibly guilty.....I gave half my paper back.....
During exam three the bar decided that we would not be allowed to bring our own pens, pencils or blackberries, cell phones or timing devices....who in the hell could have ever believed that meant they would confiscate wrist watches? But yes, believe it or not....the proctors really and truly did.....and some of us poor smucks had the misfortune to be sitting with our backs to the walls where the only clocks were and almost a football field away...something I still blame part of my more lackluster MBE performance on this last exam on....I was just not used to not having my little clock right there in front of me....not good when your game gets thrown off you know?
But all this is what brings me to my little piece of exam advice for today.....which is that no matter what the hell happened to me during any of my exams....and believe me...some whack shit has.....(refer to my earlier experience with exam 1 where my laptop went completely white and I handwrote.....) there really is no excuse good enough for losing your edge.....you have to go in with blinders....and if you , (or I ) are in such a pansy-ass state right now that losing your watch on test day is going to screw you up....well Houston.....we've got a problem..... I guess what I'm saying here is that you really do have to be prepared for any kind of bizarre circumstance......it probably will happen.......
I had an exam where people bitched and moaned about the lighting.....when I came back from lunch they had set up lighting like they have on the highway at night.....I kid you not.......and then there was the test with the running man.....dude ran to and from the bathroom....and I mean booked ass, arms flailing and shoes pounding, and of course I had table shaker eraser guy, and really, really old lawyer to my right who couldn't use his Soft-pro and got into heated debate with Soft-pro technician in middle of exam.....most of this stuff is funny now....but it wasn't to the people who were wringing their hands and cursing at the time they were soooooo upset by it all.....
I can't tell you how many people I see at these tests in tears on cell phones.....don't let that be you....know ahead of time that craziness will happen.....and don't be suprised by it......and keep your fingers crossed they send me my damned ticket huh? I want to be there.....I will not be crying......I'll be doing the victory dance baby!!!!!! |
| posted by Bar Bitch @ 10:18 PM |
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| Tuesday, July 11, 2006 |
| Unconditional Joy and the CIA...... |
Do you have a source of unconditional bar joy? If not....get one..... this is the time for it....luckily....mine has reappeared, even though I thought I'd lost him forever....I found him during my last go around with the bar.....and he is pure bar genius....I am still completely baffled as to why he wound up having to sit for this silly test again....but I am convinced that it may be ridiculously hard to pass the bar in CA....I have lost track of the phonom's I've met in the virtual world that are still fighting that damn thing......
I think there may be well over 100 emails in my inbox from just before the last test and I know I sent as many....my bar buddy and I emailed with such ridiculous zest.....we emailed the night before the test....right after the test, during the test if we'd gotten away with it....and so on.....the point is that we propped each other up so hard core....that it almost made the test bearable.....and when I got that shitty letter....I think that was the first email I sent.....
It's good to have someone you can whine about the test to...and if the someone is virtual and anonyomous.....it may be even better.....I don't even know who the hell my bar buddy is.....besides the fact he is one cool ass dude that I call CIA.....you need to have something that still makes you smile right now..... |
| posted by Bar Bitch @ 10:27 PM |
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| Monday, July 10, 2006 |
| I've already Got a job Damnit!!!!!! |
Ah.....so my mom was talking today about what sort of jobs I should start looking for....(just in case I fail again)......a great test of will for me....because of course what I really want to do is clobber her for even speaking such a thing.....but what the hell....I"m in the zone....and nobody is gonna fuck with me at the moment......
A few days back my dad was on the band wagon....he was good enough to mention that I have "never worked a real job".....apparently all the part time jobs I've held don't count, even when I was holding down two at a time and going to school full time......because they weren't "full time" and the fact that I have two degrees is apparently worth jack as well....I came very close to telling him about the stint I spent as an exotic dancer in law school...but at the last minute I held out....only because I didn't have time.....but I was so very f'n close.....
The point of all this? Well these are really not the things we want to hear mere days before facing down this bitch of a test.....but no doubt.....if you are a retaker....you will probably hear all kinds of worthless shit....maybe even from people who love you.....they may not mean it....or maybe they do.....my soon to be ex is really good at saying all kinds of worthless things (you've already taken the test before, why do you have to study again?).....be prepared for all kinds of heartless remarks and the effect they may have on you.....for some reason right now they will feel like the making or breaking of you.....and try to have sex often if you can.....I think it will help..... |
| posted by Bar Bitch @ 6:20 PM |
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| Sunday, July 09, 2006 |
| As God as my Witness.....I'll never fear the Bar Again!!!!!! |
Is anxiety starting to set in? For me not so much.....I'm ready to face this thing down again.....I need to.....it's for sure like getting back on the horse.....that doesn't mean I don't have jitters.....everybody probably does.....but I'm determined to not let them get in my way this time....
Signs that I'm not coming so unglued this test.....I'm showing vast improvement.....even since my last sitting.....I am singing in the car, instead of white knuckling from point A to point B....I'm making jokes about how many times I've failed the bar....and saying that I've become damn good at it....so either way I'm prepared.....and the truth is I mean it....I'm ok with either outcome....which is not to say I have not worked exceptionally hard for a better outcome this go round.....I just realize that even the best laid plans sometimes go awry.......
I want this licence.....is it because I have a burning desire to practice law? Probably not so much at this point.....that very well may change.....but I am certainly not pleased that so far....I simply cannot practice.....that just doesn't comport with who I am....and what I know myself to be capable of....this has really become a personal journey for me.....and I'm not especially thrilled that it had to happen but at the same time I think I'm glad it did....because I'll never be afraid again.....I will never worry, what if I don't make it.....because I know now.....you pick up....you keep going.....and you are so much stronger, more determined and should I even admit it? ....humbled for the experience......I know, enough already...... I have more cards to memorize too...... |
| posted by Bar Bitch @ 9:49 PM |
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| Friday, July 07, 2006 |
| T-minus Two Weeks Bitch!!!!!!! |
Ahhhhh.....today is my last day of essay question topic writing....all told I've probably done about 16-18 topics.....even though we've got 12 essays here in lovely NC...when you figure that Criminal Law is really two subjects....and so is the UCC...and Property is really two subjects....it just goes on and on...doesn't it?
Figure about 10 questions per topic.....so I've done a boat load of essays.....very soothing really...hah! .....weird thing is since I did them all last exam.....a lot of them seemed familiar.....of course most of them I still couldn't remember the rules for.....but that is what the next two weeks are for....that's right campers.....it is time for memorization !!!!! Two lovely weeks.......
I already have my prepared rule cards from last test.....plus a new set of cards I got only for MBE topics cause I felt I could brush up on those a bit....and I will be doing nothing but memorizing from here on out......I do two topics daily.....for 6 days.....which totals my 12 Essay Subjects..... and then next week I will do exactly the same thing....plus look over all my outlines....keep doing MBE's......and do one last set of practice essays
And this is my own special technique....which I will pull teeth if you steal and sell....cause I'm gonna write a book on this once I pass (The Bar Exam is A Bitch , but I passed on my 4th Try) ..... I use a dry erase board.....and write these rule statements....over and over and over.....you have to practice......and they have to be at your fingertips.....
This morning I had a crying jag.....just about the right time for my emotions to start going nutty I'd say.....so I cried.....pressure anyone? |
| posted by Bar Bitch @ 10:00 AM |
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